My Testimony

     Like I mentioned in my introduction,I was planning to work as an engineer someday but God had a different plan for me.
    I was ,all of a sudden, diagnosed with brain tumor when I was 20 and to make matters all the more worse,it was next to my brain stem ,so it was inoperable!! Was told that I would live only for few more months

   But Praise God because I already knew my Saviour and what he was capable of doing, so I didn't have any "why" Or "why now" questions back then. I remember a wise uncle had told me once "Give it time, at least 6 months, you will know "why", dont ask questions now"...so i didnt . Also, maybe

because a) i was always tired ,sleepy ,busy discovering and dealing with my symptoms and b) though I figured out something is related to my brain, I was not told about the "tumor" Part. That decision was good i think, otherwise i would have just thought and thought and exhausted myself!

I already knew that only God could heal me. And even if he chooses not to do anything ,his will, he knows exactly what he is doing with his creation (Ephesians 2:10), his daughter ,his apple of the eye (Zechariah 2:8) because after all he is my father.
With lot of prayers, I underwent a surgery, came out absolutely fine with no issues,became a medical marvel to many, went back to college, resumed my studies when again the tumor showed up after 3 years! That’s life!

But Praise God  for this amazing testimony this experience gave me! i wrote this testimony almost 5yrs back (march 2013 to be exact!....Its difficult for me to forget all these dates.)

                                    PRAISE THE LORD

I have become a portent to many’

” But i have had God’s help to this very

day, and so I stand here and testify

to small and great alike” (Acts 26:22).

I am a 23 yr. old engineering student. When I was 20 I underwent a brain tumor surgery which was all of a sudden…I was fine, travelling and studying and doing my college normally when all of a sudden fell sick. In a week’s time I became bedridden and dependent. I didn’t know what was happening to me!! I was fine the previous week, would travel for nearly 3 hrs a day and now I couldn’t get up from my bed. My condition began worsening and I had to be hospitalized. Doctors asked us to take an MRI.
It showed pilocytic astrocytoma, a rare, benign, inoperable tumor!
It was a shock!! I was preparing for exams and the next thing am told that I would die,had some months!…being a believer I couldn’t believe something like this could happen to me!!
Many doctors adviced us against a surgery, some even told my parents that let her live like this for some more months!! But as soon as we got to know about the tumor we all started fasting and praying. Not only us but everyone who ever knew us. The Doctors said that the surgery would involve lot of risks and complications….they said I would slip into coma, be paralysed or there was a 80% chance that I would lose one of the senses at least.
But praise God that I didn’t……….I came out of the surgery as a winner by God’s grace!I was a miracle!
Praise God…In just three months’ time…..I was back doing all things, was back travelling long hours, studying, doing my submissions …..Everything was good… I became closer to God….sharing my testimony…. encouraging people……Life was back onto track!!
But in December 2011, a routine MRI showed the tumor growing and i had to undergo radiations immediately. Though the news was very depressing and I began questioning, I went ahead with it because I knew God was with me. In a couple of months I started going back to college and I thought I was fine.
In April 2012, I fell sick again and this time it was bad!! Initially I was very upset…I had all these “why” questions in my head….i just had four papers left to complete my graduation and was sad about it. My condition was worsening and i remember thinking I won’t make it till 21st April for my 23rd birthday. All my symptoms came back and I was again bedridden and dependent. The doctors were not sure about my condition; they started treating me with an assumption that it would be a side effect of radiation. I was put on high dose medications and though my symptoms were controlled but it had negative effect on my body……. I started swelling weirdly, my skin started tearing…I would hardly see the mirror because I would start crying looking at myself. I didn’t know what was happening to me, physically and emotionally I was in lot of pain!!
Three months passed and there was no improvement. Another MRI revealed that the tumor was growing and I needed a surgery immediately…..it shattered me!! The doctors said the risk
involved with this surgery was twice the first one, which discouraged my parents to go forward with the surgery. They began fasting and praying and seeking God’s help in this matter.
Everyone everywhere, including my church started fasting and praying for me. 21 days continuous prayer was held at my place.
My condition began worsening by this time……i couldn’t eat or sleep properly, started losing sensation on the left side of my body,experienced partial facial paralyses, started losing my balance, my speech ..I was in severe pain!! The Doctors said that I had no other option but the surgery… so we prayed and went ahead with the surgery on 17th July 2012.My chances of survival was very less…. but praise god that I did survive it!!
Jeremiah 29:11 says” For I know the plans I have for you “declares the lord “plans to prosper you
and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
I believe that this verse is for me. God has a purpose for everyone and whatever happens in our life it’s for good. His intention is to never harm us but he just wants to better us. Many of my friends, relatives asked me and my family how we could go through this, again!!! Some even
feared that I might go into depression….my answer  is God’s peace…..it truly passes all understanding,even my understanding!! It gives you the strength to endure everything and a hope for a bright future.
Today when I look back I have no idea how we, as a family, went through it …if even in that pain I could smile it truly is God’s grace!! Our god is a Perfect God. He never makes mistakes. I believe that whatever has happened in my life is not a mistake, it has a purpose. He knows
exactly what he's doing.
Though we may not understand but his timings are perfect and after all his ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8) and his ways are the best.
Though my recovery is very slow and i still can’t balance myself completely and walk but i am sure that I will not only walk but run . Therefore I trust completely in him as (Psalms 27:13)
“I remain confident of this:  I will see the goodness of the Lord  in the land of the living.” Because (Romans 8:28) "All things work together for good”. I don’t know what my future has in store for me but I know he holds my future so it’s going to be great. God was the only constant factor,who didn’t leave me but carried me through all of it. I have tasted and experienced god personally and it tastes good!!!i have taken everything positively. God is truly awesome!
i thank everyone who prayed for me and please continue your prayers for my full recovery…..BLESSY MARY

Today by god's immense grace i am much better, physically and most importantly, all these years. I knew all about God but now.. I KNOW HIM!! 
And honestly,i praise God for the things that i went through because i didn't loose anything, i just gained, his immense peace, his love, his grace,his mercy, his compassion and also our God is a God of restoration!! I could write my remaining  4 papers of engineering last year and complete my graduation...something i wasn't planning on doing, atleast not now for sure! I still have balancing issues and i am still recovering but then again,God's plan,
i believe and know it! 
Today,my goals have changed. I live to please God, to not loose my focus from Jesus , from eternity!To not deviate from the Word ,to meditate on his words;not because i have to but because i want to and obviously i won't be able to do it on my own.I will definitely need him! Infact i am pretty sure that i'll fail, but i'll try hard and harder simply because i love him and want him to smile looking at his daughter!!