Christiangurl

                I have shared my testimony here many times of how I was diagnosed with brain tumour at 20yrs while studying engineering and then again it recurred after 3yrs and how my dad was diagnosed with blood cancer exactly 10 months after my 2 nd surgery. The storms kept hitting from my 20 th yr and ended with my dad’s passing due to cancer in my 30 th year. There were my surgeries, MRI’S, treatments, Dad’s chemotherapies, ICU’s, hospital visitations, endless and countless reports and then dad’s cancer relapsing just before my sister’s marriage and he passing away in 2020. So I and my sister somewhere stopped believing anything good would ever happen to us. Our brains became wired to expect only the worst news possible for our family. We felt like we were praying to a God who had abandoned us as a family and we just had to exist!           I didn’t doubt God’s existence.  I did pray but ...

  Psalms 9 is about Thanksgiving for the Lord's righteous judgement. It assures us that there is ultimate justice because there is a higher Judge. The psalmist David declares his wholehearted thankfulness to the Lord and recounts all of God's wonderful deeds and he is singing praises to the name of the Lord, the Most High. But i had trouble understanding the first sentence itself.  V1- "I will praise you with my whole heart" I Praise God but definitely not always with my whole heart!     When my dad passed away, i didn't read the Bible for a month because i didn't think it would be genuine! I had prayed for healing for my Dad’s cancer. I knew nothing is impossible with God! But the healing didn't happen and so i didn't genuinely feel like Praising God, not because of anger but because it wouldn't be genuine and honest. He knew that it would not be genuine. He knew it would be a facade!      Similarly now, a lot of struggles and f...

Mark 14:34- " My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death......"          Jesus uses the words "exceedingly sorrowful " expressing his distress so intense that it felt like death. He describes his overwhelming grief and equates it with physical death .           We know on earth, Jesus was completely God who performed various miracles but at the same time was completely human who had gone through experiences a human being goes through in his lifetime. This verse is one such human experience of him being overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death!       Jesus fell to the ground in that overwhelming grief and prayed by first reminding and telling God all things are possible by you (V36) and so take this suffering away from me but then again let Your Will be done.    We all at some point in our life have gone through or will go through sufferings and sometimes those sufferings might feel like deat...

          Mark 1: 35 (NIV)" Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up,  left the house and went off to a solitary place,  where he prayed ." This prayer was done after a busy day of ministry, including healing many people and casting out demons late into the night. This shows that even for Jesus, power and purpose came from his private time spent with God i.e. power to do his ministry and his purpose because following this prayer, when his disciples found him and said everyone was looking for him, Jesus stated that he needed to go to the nearby villages to preach, which was the purpose for which he came. This action shows the importance of prayer in Jesus's life, a habit of seeking private devotion with God. It shows Jesus’s dependence on God and he was prioritizing his relationship with the Father.          It is mentioned "as usual" (Luke 22:39-41 NIV) Jesus went to a so...

                                                             As I was reading the passage from 1 peter 5: 5- 11(NKJV), which is about Submitting To God And Resisting The devil , the latter half of verse 10 said “……after you have suffered for a while; perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.’ I got stuck on the phrase ‘suffered fo r a while’.       Lately my mind has been wrestling with that word ‘while.' I know of God’s goodness. I have tasted and experienced it personally, I know of God’s Sovereignty. I know that nothing is impossible with God. There is not an iota of doubt in my mind about his capability to perform miracles or HIS grace or HIS mercy or HIS perfect ways or HIS perfect time. BUT it’s been 13 years since my last brain-surgery, since I have walked around witho...

                 When I was reading Nehemiah chapter 3, which is about rebuilding the wall and the different gates of the wall by various people, I came across lot of names of builders building different gates. The entire chapter was just names as to who rebuilt which section of which gate and who repaired what and the different goldsmiths and the perfume-makers, etc. It was a bunch of names and I was so tempted to skip the chapter as usual, because reading a bunch of names that we can’t even pronounce is not fun. And we are not “particularly” gaining any “insight” or being “spiritually awakened” from reading names. After all, we all have skipped chapters in Exodus with names!                 I remember an Achen(priest) had once, in my Sunday School class, said that you shouldn’t skip any chapter of the Bible because of names but read it entirely because what if God asks you about it when you meet h...

           Today in the morning while listening to Dr. Charles Stanley share from the passage of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15: 11-31),  He commented on how quick we all usually are to study   about the younger brother who left home and went away to a far-away country with his portion and lived in Sin. But we tend to overlook the older brother who didn’t leave home, who was with the father the whole time; who faithfully served his father. And yet this very older brother, was filled with unforgiveness,   bitterness, jealousy, self-righteousness, was disrespectful as soon as he felt he was betrayed or wronged. His attitude steered towards bitterness at the drop of an unpleasant circumstance. (luke 15:28-30)   That’s very true!             We usually sit and study and analyze the younger lost son’s actions and maybe, sometimes , compare ourselves with him. But what if we are like the ot...

                            I imagine The Apostle Paul's life when he was Saul. It would have been a good life before! He would have definitely been a part of an elite group of learned scholars.  He was a Pharisee, a Hebrew of Hebrews, of the tribe of Benjamin and he referred to himself as faultless and righteous, based on law (Philippians 3:4-5). Also, considering his status and position, his lineage, his sincere zeal and passion for the Pharisaic laws and his religion: prestige, privilege and power would have been synonymous with his name.                     But then when he chose to go by his Roman name Paul, when he became a follower of Jesus Christ, he experienced  a 180 degree flip in his life. He went from one extreme elite, “looked-up-by-the-world” group to the other extreme hardships–filled, sufferings and prison-filled, being beate...

               2 Corinthians 4:15-18  15  All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. 16  Therefore we do not lose heart.  Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed    Day by day.   17  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.   18  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen,  Since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal  This is one of my go-to verses when I am feeling low and exhausted or anxious or stressful or worthless or hopeless because it instantly makes me feel just the opposite of all those words. Though The Bible as a whole, has the ability to change you, your feelings, your emotions and give you peace because it is filled with hope and promi...

  In Luke 5:4 Jesus is telling Simon (Peter) “Put into deep water and let down the net for a catch.” Jesus is talking to Peter in the context of catching fish i.e. go into deep water, away from the surface , let down your net and you will end up catching fish       Now,I feel, th is verse has a very deep meaning in itself for us. 'Go deep... for a catch' i.e. we should go deep , dive deep into the Word inorder  to Completely understand what God is trying to speak to us through his Word . We can’t just float on the surface and search for something deep and meaningful. We should be willing to not just read but meditate and study His word and seek His help. We should be ready to take our boats and go deep with Him, letting down our guard, our pride, our shields and being vulnerable and honest about our emotions with God and telling Him how exactly we feel  and asking God to intervene!   We have to dive deep!       Another noticea...