Praising God With My Whole Heart?

 

Psalms 9 is about Thanksgiving for the Lord's righteous judgement. It assures us that there is ultimate justice because there is a higher Judge. The psalmist David declares his wholehearted thankfulness to the Lord and recounts all of God's wonderful deeds and he is singing praises to the name of the Lord, the Most High.

But i had trouble understanding the first sentence itself.

 V1- "I will praise you with my whole heart"

I Praise God but definitely not always with my whole heart!

    When my dad passed away, i didn't read the Bible for a month because i didn't think it would be genuine! I had prayed for healing for my Dad’s cancer. I knew nothing is impossible with God! But the healing didn't happen and so i didn't genuinely feel like Praising God, not because of anger but because it wouldn't be genuine and honest. He knew that it would not be genuine. He knew it would be a facade! 

    Similarly now, a lot of struggles and feelings are trying to govern my heart and mind and one amongst them is a job in my field of counseling, for which i clear all the rounds and interviews but it boils down to the fact that i have physical limitations ( i am a brain-tumor survivor with balance issues, so i have difficulty walking and need support), which i acknowledge but also makes me wonder why hasn't God healed me yet?

     And so me writing about  “Praising God with my whole heart" would be a facade when i, myself am mentally struggling to do it!  I don't like preaching what I don't practice. So I don't want to write about Praising. 

       But then I was reminded by a friend that we don't Praise God for what he has done or not done for us but we Praise God for who HE is! 

We Praise God because He is a Good God!

We Praise God because He is worthy.

We Praise God because He is Sovereign. 

We Praise God for HE is our Saviour, who has given us the free gift of salvation that guarantees that our soul won't perish and will have eternity with him. And he is with us in our struggles, in our pit-conditions. 

      Knowing that this is not the end, your earthly struggles has an end, your situation whether physical, mental or financial has an end and inspite of things not making sense to you right now , all that He is asking from us is to Trust him! To exercise our faith and In that faith Praise God for his goodness. To not just go with our feelings and emotions but our knowledge of his Sovereignty! 

    God knows our heart. And He knows our genuineness. He sees our deepest struggles. He knows that it is not a pretend or façade. He doesn't judge us but accepts us the way we are and where our heart is at!! Nothing is hidden from him! And I find great solace in knowing that he knows our heart!