Christiangurl

                I have shared my testimony here many times of how I was diagnosed with brain tumour at 20yrs while studying engineering and then again it recurred after 3yrs and how my dad was diagnosed with blood cancer exactly 10 months after my 2 nd surgery. The storms kept hitting from my 20 th yr and ended with my dad’s passing due to cancer in my 30 th year. There were my surgeries, MRI’S, treatments, Dad’s chemotherapies, ICU’s, hospital visitations, endless and countless reports and then dad’s cancer relapsing just before my sister’s marriage and he passing away in 2020. So I and my sister somewhere stopped believing anything good would ever happen to us. Our brains became wired to expect only the worst news possible for our family. We felt like we were praying to a God who had abandoned us as a family and we just had to exist!           I didn’t doubt God’s existence.  I did pray but ...

  Psalms 9 is about Thanksgiving for the Lord's righteous judgement. It assures us that there is ultimate justice because there is a higher Judge. The psalmist David declares his wholehearted thankfulness to the Lord and recounts all of God's wonderful deeds and he is singing praises to the name of the Lord, the Most High. But i had trouble understanding the first sentence itself.  V1- "I will praise you with my whole heart" I Praise God but definitely not always with my whole heart!     When my dad passed away, i didn't read the Bible for a month because i didn't think it would be genuine! I had prayed for healing for my Dad’s cancer. I knew nothing is impossible with God! But the healing didn't happen and so i didn't genuinely feel like Praising God, not because of anger but because it wouldn't be genuine and honest. He knew that it would not be genuine. He knew it would be a facade!      Similarly now, a lot of struggles and f...

                                                             As I was reading the passage from 1 peter 5: 5- 11(NKJV), which is about Submitting To God And Resisting The devil , the latter half of verse 10 said “……after you have suffered for a while; perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.’ I got stuck on the phrase ‘suffered fo r a while’.       Lately my mind has been wrestling with that word ‘while.' I know of God’s goodness. I have tasted and experienced it personally, I know of God’s Sovereignty. I know that nothing is impossible with God. There is not an iota of doubt in my mind about his capability to perform miracles or HIS grace or HIS mercy or HIS perfect ways or HIS perfect time. BUT it’s been 13 years since my last brain-surgery, since I have walked around witho...